The Wild Researcher Boy*

Well, I've bin a researcher
Full many a year
Been snubbed and looked down on
Thought rather small beer
But now it's all changed
And I've cash in great store
And I never will clone
In E coli no more

Chorus:
And it's no, nay, never
No, nay, never, no more
Will I clone in E coli
No, never, no more...

Well, I went to a company
Sells media and such
And I told them my career was
A pain in the crutch
They said: "Come in here, now
"Let's see how ye fare"
- And I tossed my old job
Without e'en a care

Chorus:
...will I grow Streptomyces...

So I go on me travels
In me three-piece grey suit
And for me former pursuits
I could not give a hoot
For I've cash in the bank
And a house by the sea
And these are alone are far more
Than science e'er did for me

Chorus:
...will I purify virus...

I went to the Department
I used to frequent
The Professor told me
His grants were all spent
He asked me for credit
I laughed, and said: "Nay!"
"For such custom as yours
We refuse every day!"

Chorus:
...will I spin DNA down...

I walked out of the building
With a spring in me step
Every inch of me looking
The successful sales rep
And out in the carpark
I had a small laugh
At the thought of meself once
Amongst such riff-raff

Chorus:
...will I miniprep plasmids...

So I say to you students
And technicians and folk
Don't stay in yer field
For the money's a joke
Take off your labcoats
And walk out that door
And come work with me
For I'm earning much more....

Chorus:
...will I suffer for science...


* = First performed live by a 15-strong choir at the South African Society for Microbiology Congress at the University of Cape Town, July 1984.